Nadeshiko's Daughter
by Tsubasa Hane
Summary: Sakura visits her mother's grave, and tells of all that has happened to her over the years.


This fic is dedicated to anybody who's ever suffered the loss of a friend and/or loved one; as Wilson (_7th Heaven_) once said: "We've all part of the club that nobody wants to belong to…that we're forced into becoming a member whether we want to or not.  And only fellow members can truly know what it's like."

I don't usually watch the show, but that quote just really hit home.

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DISCLAIMER:  I don't own _C.C.S._(and somebody should tell Nelvana that they don't, either.)  
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_Ohayo._

_Sometimes, I lay in bed late at night—long after Kero-chan's gone to sleep—and it feels like you're there.  Touya-kun used to tell me stories about how he could see ghosts because he had magic, and I believed him.  He said that he could see you, and even talk to you every so often.  Normally, I would run screaming at the sight of a ghost.  But not you._

_So much has happened to me over the years, and you never got to see it.  I almost wish I had Touya's gift—the one he had before he gave it up to save Yukito-san—so I could talk to you about everything and everyone in my life.  Like Tomoyo-chan.  You remember her, right?  Daidouji-san's daughter?  She's one of the best friends I could ever have asked for.  Kind, gentle, and always there for me.  I don't know what I'd do without her.  I can tell Tomoyo-chan anything, no matter what, and she'll listen._

_I have to admit, though, she scares me sometimes…especially when she has that camera of hers; Tomoyo-chan gets this far-off look in her eye and starts chuckling almost…evilly.  When she gets like that, she reminds me so much of Eriol-kun._

_The similarities between those two are hilariously close.  I never know what's going on in either of their minds, nor can I even figure out what sceme they're planning next.  If they ever decided to team up, I'd be in BIG trouble…._

_Tomoyo-chan sees the whole Clow/Sakura Cards deal as one big fashion show, with me as the headliner model.  It's a little embarrassing, but I go along with it for her sake, because it makes her so happy.  She tries playing dress-up every chance she gets.  Sometimes, I could swear Tomoyo-chan predicts ahead of time when a costume is (as she says) "absolutely necessary."  I guess it's her way of being able to help, since she doesn't have any magical powers of her own.  Or maybe she does…I never could figure out that one…._

_I've grown used to it over the years, I guess.  And Kero-chan seems to like them as well._

_Kero-chan…Keroberos…either form, he's a wonderful guardian and even better friend.  Kero-chan's been with me every step of the way.  Guiding me.  Teaching me.  Protecting me from anything I've had to come face-to-face with, even though he knows I'm more than capable of holding my own.  I wasn't sure if I could compete with the powerful Clow Reed in magic, but Kero-chan believed in me no matter what.  They all did._

_Like with the Final Judgment.  Kero-chan trust me whole-heartedly, and defended me against Yue._

_In his false form, it wouldn't be far off to say he's completely addicted to pudding, video games, and being lazy.  Oh, so very lazy.  Greedy, too.  But he's one of the most loyal companions I could ask for, and knows when he is needed._

_You should have been there when he was still trying to hide from Touya-kun.  I could swear Nee-chan knew what was going on the entire time, only he never said anything, so I could never be sure.  The two of them used to have one-sided staring contests, and poor Kero-chan would just sit there, trying to stay as still as possible. It was hard to try and not burst out laughing while watching them._

_Poor Touya-kun.  But eventually, he found out…and didn't seem all that surprised, now that I think about it.  But then again, if it weren't for the Clow Cards and Kero-chan and Yue, he wouldn't have Yukito-san._

_Touya-kun and I argue.  A lot.  He calls me "kaijuu" and I plot the day I can squish him under my foot because of that.  It surprises me how different he and Yukito-san are most of the time.  I'm not gonna lie to you; sometimes, I could almost swear that he hates me. But then…  Then, there are those rare times when he protected me, made sure I wouldn't get hurt.  He carried me home from school on his back that time I caught fever, and even took care of me.  He always worried about me every time I go on another "adventure."  He never admits it, but I know he does._

_And then there was the whole matter of giving up his power, his ability to talk to ghosts—and you, in order to save Yukito-san and Yue-san.  It's times like those I realize that he really does love me, just like I really love him, and he only wants to keep me safe.  Times like those, I'm glad he's my brother…even if he and Syaoran-kun refuse to get along…._

_When Syaoran-kun first came to Tomoeda, I could have sword he hated me, even though I could never figure out why.  Tomoyo said something about competition, but that should never be enough to hate somebody.  All the insults…all the glares…but he never seemed hard enough to scare me away.  Eventually, we became good friends and partmers in Card-capturing.  Oh, and Tomoyo-chan with her camera, of course._

_It's strange.  All that time…all the adventures we shared together…and I never knew.  I was totally oblivious to both his feelings and my own.  When he finally told me he loved me, I was in complete shock.  Then he left.  Went back to China.  I missed him terribly, more than I thought I would, and when he came back…well, I was thrilled to see him, of course, but suddenly, I didn't know what to say.  _

_Things I never realized I knew I felt were beginning to surface…and I got confused.  It took almost losing him forever to realize that…_

_…that I love him, too.  I suppose I always have.  _

_Tomoyo-chan knew.  Meiling-chan knew.  Kero-chan knew.  Yukito-san…Eriol-kun…I'll bet even Touya-kun.  I'm always the last to know_

_I wish you could meet them, Okka-san.  You'd love them all as much as I do.  I'm sure of it.  And they'd love you as well.  Otto-san puts a new picture of you up in the house every day, and every day I say "good morning" to it, as if you were really there.  Otto-san and Touya-kun never forgot you, and I promise I never will, either…._

*          *          *          *          *          *

It was quite warm for the early winter season of that year, a gentle breeze weaving its way through Kinomoto Sakura's short, auburn hair, slightly thwarting her vision with a few strands.  Wordlessly, the twelve-year old brushed the offending hair off her face as she placed the tiny bouquet upon the head of the massive tombstone in front of her.  Her fingers made their way up and over the delicate writing, gently brushing each letter with her fingertips:

KINOMOTO NADESHIKO

The last of her words barely escaped her lips before she collapse from her kneeling position, straight to the ground.  Her head hung down, she quietly sobbed free of tears.

The others immediately saw this from where they stood at the cemetery gates and began to worry.  Syaoran was about to head over to comfort her, when a hand of his shoulder stopped him.  A glance back put him eye-to-eye with Eriol, who wordlessly shook his head.  Understanding completely, Syaoran turned to the raven-haired girl beside him.

"You go. What she needs is a friend."

Tomoyo, almost in tears herself from Sakura's pain, nodded in reply. Giving Syaoran a quick hug in gratitude, she whispered, "She's lucky to have you…more so than you both realize." Without another sound, Tomoyo quietly walked over to where her best friend since second grade lay in an emotional heap, leaving the two boys to watch from a distance.

In the next instant, Sakura felt a pair of delicate arms wrap around her in a half-hug, the scent of lavender giving away Tomoyo's identity. She wanted to push her back, say that she was fine…but instead, found herself quietly sobbing into her best friend's shoulder. Kneeling down to be level with her, Tomoyo held to her tightly, absentmindedly stroking the slightly-younger girl's hair in attempt to calm her down. After about half a minute, Sakura finally looked up with (to Tomoyo's surprise) eyes just barely damp. Not a tear had been shed from the girl.

"Are you okay, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked. Sakura stared at the bottom of the gravestone for a good while, her head still on Tomoyo's shoulder.

When she finally did answer, her already deathly-quiet voice came out in a small quiver. "Why can't I cry, Tomoyo-chan?"

"What?" Tomoyo turned to look at her with curiosity. Sakura hardly moved as she spoke up, slightly louder this time.

"Why can't I cry? I'm sitting right in front of my mother's grave…and I... She's gone, and I can't cry." Finally, she sat up to look directly into the lavender-colored eyes she trusted so deeply, "I want to cry. I should cry. How come I can't?"

Tomoyo almost couldn't help but smile as she brushed away a few bangs from Sakura's eyes, replying in nearly the same voice Sakura used, "You shouldn't have to cry, Sakura-chan, and please don't…you're much too beautiful when you're happy to be anything but." She gently took Sakura's hands in her own, giving them a little comforting squeeze. "You've gone nine years without crying. It's because you're strong—stronger than anyone I know. Something tells me you got it from your mother."

Sakura smiled weakly as Tomoyo continued on, "I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be sad. It's okay to cry, but it's also okay notto cry…" For lack of more words, Tomoyo's voice trailed off. She loved Sakura dearly, and it pained her enormously to see her best friend hurting so bad…especially when it's something that she couldn't help or fix or…

Sakura surprised her by engulfing Tomoyo in a tight hug. "Thanks, Tomoyo-chan, for everything; I really don't know what I'd do without you…" but the hint of emptiness in her voice didn't go unnoticed to the non-magical girl of the two. She may not have had powers, but there were always certain things that Tomoyo was able to sense herself. In Sakura's case…it was lonliness.

"Come on, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo whispered in her ear, "let's go back with the others." Receiving little more than a nod in response, Tomoyo leaned forward to get up. Sakura followed suit, Tomoyo's arm still supportively around her. Wordlessly, the two girls headed back over towards the giant Cherry Blossom tree.

Once there, Sakura slowly looked up, and directly into Syaoran's eyes. She slowly moved out of Tomoyo's grasp, towards the boy she loved more than anything. The cold glares normally reserved for everyone else in the world (particularly Eriol) were replaced with warmth and understanding…something he did only for her. Without a sound, Syaoran wrapped him arms around her, bringing her in tight. 

Sakura buried her face in his chest, arms around his waste, as he calmly stroked her hair, much as Tomoyo had done before. Planting a kiss on the top of her head, he then laid his chin upon the same spot and closed his eyes. A slight gust of wind blew a few cherry blossoms from the tree and around the couple as they swayed slightly in the waft.

" 'Love you." Syaoran whispered. Sakura smiled in response, and closed her eyes briefly

"I know." When she opened them again, the young girl felt cold, wet drops trickling down her cheeks. Knowing immediately what they were, she simply buried herself in her love's arms once more, and allowed herself to cry. "I love you, too."

Tomoyo stood off to the side, watching them with tears rimming her own eyes. Long ago, she had declared that Sakura's happiness was her happiness…and was determined to make Sakura happy, even if it was at a minor expense of her own at times…. 

A hand appeared on Tomoyo's shoulder, and when she turned around she found a gently smiling Eriol attached. Focusing her attention back to the pair in front of her, Tomoyo wordlessly placed a delicate hand of her own on top of Eriol's; their fingers intertwined, and remained that way. "You okay?" Eriol whispered into her ear, receiving a small nod from the girl in response.

Just outside the cemetery fence, Touya and Yukito stood, looking in on the small group. Yukito had a proud, authority-figure look on his face as he munched on a sandwich at the same time, while Touya…well…just glared.

"I don't know what she sees in that brat." He muttered for the umpteenth time. Yukito inwardly sighed, swallowing his current bite before speaking up.

"Obviously something you don't," Yukito lightly argued, smiling as he spoke, "You'll just have to face it; She's in love with him, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"But…" Touya tried protesting, but his tone was less challenging with every word, "She's only a child…"

Walking over next to Touya, Yukito gave a side-ways stare at the couple in question as she answered, "She's not a child. Not anymore. Look, To-ya, I know you want to protect her…but you must have realized that he does, too."

Touya didn't speak for a good while after that. He just watched. Watched as Sakura continued to cry in his arms as he calmly stroked her hair and whispered words to soothe her. The more he watched, the less angry he became. Finally, Touya couldn't help but become just a little bit safe, now knowing who would be looking after his little Sakura…

No, she's not a little girl anymore, his mind told him. A sudden flash, and Touya could almost see his mother's image before his very eyes. Then, looking back over at Sakura, he smiled. Just like mother…she's definitely her mother's daughter….

"Come on, Yuki, let's go." Touya finally spoke up. The two calmly walked off, leaving the little display in the cemetery at bay. Touya gave one last glance behind him as he and Yuki headed back towards town.

_Arigatou, Okka-san._

A pale image of a lovely young woman sat on the fence where Touya and Yukito had just stood. With a gentle smile, she waved farewell to her beloved son, then turned her attention back to Sakura before slowly fading away.


End file.
